It's been a long day, it started out badly with an early morning workout! See here for details!
The Gatwick express people are obviously experiencing train fraud because between buying my ticket and the airport I had to go through 3 individual ticket inspections! Seems a bit heavy handed.
Anyway, I'm tired and as a result a bit grumpy, i don't have time to pop in to the caviar bar for some Smoked Salmon and Champagne before my flight and I'm feeling a mood coming on!
As soon as I get to the gate, I'm put on the back foot by the fact the plane is already boarding normally I like getting on early to watch my fellow passengers gamble onto the plane and not get aggravated by their general inability to put a bag in an overhead locker whilst holding everyone else up. Being on the back foot continues with an irritatingly pedantic BA customer service person called Zoe asking me to demonstrate that my wheelie bag fits in the gauge. Now I have travelled 100's possibly 1000's of times with this bag. It fits. But with last minute rubbish, the stuff I will be taking out to use on the plane, it gets a bit tight! After 5 or so minutes of me getting all hot and bothered she is eventually convinced that it fits and I have to juggle various assorted pieces of junk down the jet way that starts with 2 flights of stairs.
With the irritation mounting I get to my row, no one else has turned up so I get the opportunity to refile my belongings before slipping the bulging but still small enough to fit bag in the overhead locker.
I sit in my favourite seat, 12d, and before long I am joined by my first aisle companion. Now row 12 is an exit row, one with the extra leg room, so I am somewhat irritated that this huge blonde woman in 12e expects me to get up to let her sit down but I pull my legs in and she manages to squeeze in, as I get a rather uncomfortably close view of her pants I decide I should have gotten up. Then Mr Window joins the party. Unable to squeeze past said huge blonde, I have to get up too to let everyone get themselves organised.
On sitting back down my attention is drawn to the situation unfolding in front of me. 11d and 11f are a gigantic couple! Bigger than huge blonde. But the wee guy in 11e is a sweetie and offers them the opportunity to be sat together. Like the aisle straddlers from my previous blog but much worse! The woman responds with 'well no because I like the aisle and he likes the window and usually we're lucky not to have anyone in between us'. Enough said but now 11e is stuck, with not an armrest to his name sandwiched between these two selfish gargantuans!
What is the world coming to? Even now when I look at the row in front 11d&f are head and shoulders above the headrest and little 11e only has a wee tiny tuft of ginger hair poking up! Is it acceptable for people to have eaten themselves into a position where the cannot comfortably sit next to their other half on a plane? I really don't think so and their size causes a bigger problem to fellow passengers that a slightly over stuffed piece of hand luggage.
Finally the aisle clears and I take the opportunity to ask the flight attendants at the front of the plane to hang up my jacket. They kindly oblige and I return to my seat and begin to look forward to my wee gin and tonic! You don't get this kind of service on SleazyJet!
Sally and Danielle drop of the beverages and snack. Since having these braces fitted the soft BA cookies are the only cookies I can eat and although they don't go with a g&t, the bubbly and professionalism of the in flight drinks service is enough to make me forget all about that Zoe one from the terminal! After a quick bout of paranoia that Huge Blonde saw me writing this and was preparing to douse me in her bloody Mary I was somewhat relieved to see her drink up!
Another flight has all but passed where I feeling somewhat smug about how much I love this airline... but the passengers! Bloody hell! They are enough to drive you to absolute distraction. As I settle in to my 'Business Life' and flip to the agony aunt Deborah page, I receive an unceremonious hip to the face, a BA attendant has had to squeeze past some random Santander employee (his suit is bearing a tag with the banks logo) who has decided to do some networking on the plane! Hilariously he keeps getting driven up and down the aisle by the hostesses with rubbish carts and eventually Retreats back to his seat! I will be glad to get home after this one!
